Strangeness and Slippers
by Sakura-Revolution
Summary: Okay, I was kinda in a strange mood, hope this is not too weird.... Watched Wizard of Oz with lil' brother.
1. The beach

1 Really boring night with no sleep. Time: 6:41 PM  
  
List of things I ripped off: Escaflowne, E-Bay, Wizard of Oz,  
  
Yes this is supposed to be a funny story. No I did not put a whole lot of thought into it... (Actually I am writing a really dreary story at the same time I write this one so I really am going to be embarrassed by this in the morning... *Author looks worried*) Any how UI hope this is a fairly short story because I know that some one is going to laugh at me for even letting another living soul see it... (*Author looks very worried*) Well BaiBai! Sakura-chan.  
  
It was a bright beautiful day and the dragon slayers were living it up. (In other words Fulken had run out of things to let Dilandau burn and in desperation had decided to let the Dragonslayers have a day off.) The whole group was walking down a dirt road that had a remarkable number of people seeing as it was SUPPOSED to be a rural road but what the hell. (The author refuses to think up a reason for there to be a ton of traffic or for the fact that shouldn't they NOT have cars?) Dilandau was as usual screaming something about fire, scars, and Van dying a slow and horrible death.  
  
Fulken was working on slitting his wrist when Hitomi bounced up and every dragonslayer backed away in fright, Dilandau screamed and hit Gatti. Gatti fumed but said nothing. Mean while a very tired looking girl with pink and purple cotton shorts and a very fluorescent tankini top walked up and dragged Hitomi away by her hair muttering something that involved Hitomi doing physically impossible things. Dilandau smirked at the thought and the dragonslayers let out a collective sigh of relief.  
  
They continued on to the beach... (Minus the girl who melded back to her computer to be ready for the next time she was needed.) Fulken was still trying to cut his wrist with a fork when a very pregnant girl showed up and screamed that she could not remember who the father was. (Millie Strikes back!) Fulken started jabbing the fork wildly while a lot of dragonslayers sweatdroped and Dilandau wondered if it was against the rules to kill a pregnant woman. Or at least burn her alive! Dilandau smiled at the thought and started collecting firewood.  
  
At that moment a ball of blue energy appeared, changed lots of colors and turned into a tall blonde woman with a full light pink skirt and crown sequined the same color.  
  
"Greetings, I am Glenda, the witch of the north." She said and then looked at Dilandau. "Never take off those ruby slippers or you will be at the mercy of the wicked witch of the West." Dilandau looked down and was shocked to discover that he was wearing ruby red high heels.  
  
"AHHHH!!!!!" He screamed and started running around in amazed shock. He did not notice the good witch leave with another warning about the slippers. Fulken was sitting on a log silently wishing he was a used car salesmen. Or at least a shark kisser that would be much safer than dealing with a group of gay teenagers.  
  
Suddenly Dilandau realized he was wearing heels and yanked them off, throwing them at Van who had just appeared. They hit him in the crotch and he bent over in pain. Out of nowhere the wicked witch of the West appeared and threw a fireball at Dilandau. He was delighted and caught it on a stick. He played with it for a while.  
  
The Witch looked confused grabed the shoes and left cackling: "I'll make a fortune on E-Bay!" The dragonslayers watched her go and wondered if they could sell Dilandau or Fulken on this strange thing called "E-bay."  
  
Fulken finally came too and took the fire away from Dilandau (Who put up a good fight for it.) He pouted and yelled: "You don't love me any more which got stares from a lot of people. (But not as many stares as the fact that Fulken reached forward and kissed Dilandau at that moment... *Author cackles evilly* I am in charge and Dilandau and Fulken were meant for each other! # of people who want to kill me: 1) Dilandau finally gave up on getting his fire ball back and ran into the sea... He promptly lost his tiara.  
  
He started seating for it swiftly and started to turn pale when he could not find it. This prompted the dragonslayers (And Fulken...) to start searching for it valiantly. They of course could not let their leader turn pale and they all remembered the last time he lost the crown thingy. He screamed like a girl and Fulken ran out wearing an avocado mask and Cucumbers on his eyes. (Gatti attacked him thinking he was a monster from outer space.)  
  
Allan appeared out of now where to laugh at the valiant efforts. Then he noticed milerna in a bathing suit and went to see to the matter of whether she would be willing to take it off later for him. (She would) He looked happy and they ran off together to find an empty van... (No not the young King!)  
  
The end. 


	2. The Vione 1

It was another boring day on the Vione. Folken was quietly doing paper work... and Dilandau.... Well (at least Folken assumed) he was amusing himself in some quiet, safe way. (Yeah... Right...)  
  
Folken got up and turned just in time to see the axe go into the fire extinguisher. With a resounding boom, Dilandau went flying. Folken sighed.  
  
"Lord Dilandau, are you okay?" The dragon slayers yelled in unison... (Es-Ca-Flo-Ne! **esca-monks**) Dilandau stood up, rubbed his head, and grinned. With the glee, only an insane albino pyromaniac can muster he said:  
  
"Coooooool..."  
  
It was then that Folken decided to take them to a carnival.  
  
"Now you little... ANGELS..." (You KNOW he was sarcastic...) "I want you all ready in five minutes... I will be in the other room."  
  
FIVE MINUTES LATER  
  
Folken returned, to find Viole used as a horse (By Dilandau), Gatti used as a cow (also by Dilandau) and a pillow full of marijuana. (By Dilan-- -- err... sorry. By VAUGHN)  
  
"God damn..." Folken said, and started to gather.  
  
(A/N: This would be longer, but I'm working on a lot of fanfics at the moment.... nevertheless, I will strive for MORE Escaflowne ones... I give you my word as an honorary worshipper of the mutilated chicken.... You'll find out what that means in the next chapter.) 


End file.
